Greek Texts & Translations

Set down for the chef ten minas, for the doctor

One drachma, for a flatterer talents five,

For counsel smoke, for mercenary beauty

A talent, for a philosopher three obols.

He was known as the "Door-opener" - the caller to whom all doors fly open - from his habit of entering every house and admonishing those within. Here is another specimen of his composition ^note :

That much I have which I have learnt and thought,

The noble lessons taught me by the Muses :

But wealth amassed is prey to vanity. And again he says that what he has gained from philosophy is

A quart of lupins and to care for no one.

This too is quoted as his ^note :

Hunger stops love, or, if not hunger, Time,

Or, failing both these means of help, - a halter.

He flourished in the 113th Olympiad. ^note

According to Antisthenes in his Successions, the first impulse to the Cynic philosophy was given to him when he saw Telephus in a certain tragedy carrying a little basket and altogether in a wretched plight. So he turned his property into money, - for he belonged to a distinguished family, - and having thus collected about 200 talents, distributed that sum among his fellow-citizens. And (it is added) so sturdy a philosopher did he become that he is mentioned by the comic poet Philemon. At all events the latter says :

In summer-time a thick cloak he would wear

To be like Crates, and in winter rags.

Diocles relates how Diogenes persuaded Crates to give up his fields to sheep pasture, and throw into the sea any money he had.

In the home of Crates Alexander is said to have lodged, as Philip once lived in Hipparchia's. Often, too, certain of his kinsmen would come to visit him and try to divert him from his purpose. These he would drive from him with his stick, and his resolution was unshaken. Demetrius of Magnesia tells a story that he entrusted a banker with a sum of money on condition that, if his sons proved ordinary men he was to pay it to them, but, if they became philosophers, then to distribute it among the people : for his sons would need nothing, if they took to philosophy. Eratosthenes tells us that by Hipparchia, of whom we shall presently speak, he had a son born to him named Pasicles, and after he had ceased to be a cadet on service, Crates took him to a brothel and told him that was how his father had married. 6.5.89 The marriage of intrigue and adultery, he said, belonged to tragedy, having exile or assassination as its rewards ; while the weddings of those who take up with courtesans are material for comedy, for as a result of extravagance and drunkenness they bring about madness.

This man had a brother named Pasicles, who was a disciple of Euclides.

Favorinus, in the second book of his Memorabilia, tells a pleasant story of Crates. For he relates how, when making some request of the master of the gymnasium, he laid hold on his hips ; and when he demurred, said, "What, are not these hip-joints yours as much as your knees ?" It was, he used to say, impossible to find anybody wholly free from flaws ; but, just as in a pomegranate, one of the seeds is always going bad. Having exasperated the musician Nicodromus, he was struck by him on the face. So he stuck a plaster on his forehead with these words on it, "Nicodromus's handiwork." 6.5.90 He carried on a regular campaign of invective against the courtesans, habituating himself to meet their abuse.

When Demetrius of Phalerum sent him loaves of bread and some wine, he reproached him, saying, "Oh that the springs yielded bread as well as water!" It is clear, then, that he was a water-drinker. When the police-inspectors found fault with him for wearing muslin, his answer was, "I'll show you that Theophrastus also wears muslin." This they would not believe : so he led them to a barber's shop and showed them Theophrastus being shaved. At Thebes he was flogged by the master of the gymnasium - another version being that it was by Euthycrates and at Corinth ; and being dragged by the heels, he called out, as if it did not affect him ^note :

Seized by the foot and dragged o'er heaven's high threshold :

Diocles, however, says that it was by Menedemus of Eretria that he was thus dragged. For he being handsome and being thought to be intimate with Asclepiades the Phliasian, Crates slapped him on the side with a brutal taunt; whereupon Menedemus, full of indignation, dragged him along, and he declaimed as above.

Zeno of Citium in his Anecdotes relates that in a fit of heedlessness he sewed a sheepskin to his cloak. He was ugly to look at, and when performing his gymnastic exercises used to be laughed at. He was accustomed to say, raising his hands, "Take heart, Crates, for it is for the good of your eyes and of the rest of your body.