Greek Texts & Translations

There was a gourmand so greedy that he left nothing for his table companions. A large fish having been served, Zeno took it up as if he were about to eat the whole. When the other looked at him, "What do you suppose," said he, "those who live with you feel every day, if you cannot put up with my gourmandise in this single instance?" A youth was putting a question with more curiosity than became his years, whereupon Zeno led him to a mirror, and bade him look in it; after which he inquired if he thought it became anyone who looked like that to ask such questions. Some one said that he did not in general agree with Antisthenes, whereupon Zeno produced that author's essay on Sophocles, and asked him if he thought it had any excellence ; to which the reply was that he did not know. "Then are you not ashamed," quoth he, "to pick out and mention anything wrong said by Antisthenes, while you suppress his good things without giving them a thought?"

Some one having said that he thought the chainarguments of the philosophers seemed brief and curt, Zeno replied, "You are quite right ; indeed, the very syllables ought, if possible, to be clipped." Some one remarked to him about Polemo, that his discourse was different from the subject he announced. He replied with a frown, "Well, what value would you have set upon what was given out?" He said that when conversing we ought to be earnest and, like actors, we should have a loud voice and great strength ; but we ought not to open the mouth too wide, which is what your senseless chatterbox does. "Telling periods," he said, "unlike the works of good craftsmen, should need no pause for the contemplation of their excellences ; on the contrary, the hearer should be so absorbed in the discourse itself as to have no leisure even to take notes."

Once when a young man was talking a good deal, he said, "Your ears have slid down and merged in your tongue." To the fair youth, who gave it as his opinion that the wise man would not fall in love, his reply was: "Then who can be more hapless than you fair youths?" He used to say that even of philosophers the greater number were in most things unwise, while about small and casual things they were quite ignorant. And he used to cite the saying of Caphisius, who, when one of his pupils was endeavouring to blow the flute lustily, gave him a slap and told him that to play well does not depend on loudness, though playing loudly may follow upon playing well. ^note And to a youth who was talking somewhat saucily his rejoinder was, "I would rather not tell you what I am thinking, my lad."

A Rhodian, who was handsome and rich, but nothing more, insisted on joining his class; but so unwelcome was this pupil, that first of all Zeno made him sit on the benches that were dusty, that he might soil his cloak, and then he consigned him to the place where the beggars sat, that he might rub shoulders with their rags ; so at last the young man went away. Nothing, he declared, was more unbecoming than arrogance, especially in the young. He used also to say that it was not the words and expressions that we ought to remember, but we should exercise our mind in disposing to advantage of what we hear, instead of, as it were, tasting a well-cooked dish or well-dressed meal. The young, he thought, should behave with perfect propriety in walk, gait and dress, and he used continually to quote the lines of Euripides about Capaneus :

Large means had he, yet not the haughtiness

That springs from wealth, nor cherished prouder thoughts

Of vain ambition than the poorest man. ^note

Again he would say that if we want to master the sciences there is nothing so fatal as conceit, and again there is nothing we stand so much in need of as time. To the question "Who is a friend?" his answer was, "A second self (alter ego)." We are told that he was once chastising a slave for stealing, and when the latter pleaded that it was his fate to steal, "Yes, and to be beaten too," said Zeno. Beauty he called the flower of chastity, while according to others it was chastity which he called the flower of beauty. ^note Once when he saw the slave of one of his acquaintance marked with weals, "I see," said he, "the imprints of your anger." To one who had been drenched with unguent, "Who is this," quoth he, "who smells of woman?" When Dionysius the Renegade asked, "Why am I the only pupil you do not correct?" the reply was, "Because I mistrust you." To a stripling who was talking nonsense his words were, "The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more and talk the less."